Thursday, September 4, 2008

MEMO REVEALS MILEY CYRUS AS ORIGINAL McCAIN VP PICK

ST. PAUL, Minn. (CAP) - CAP News has learned that Republican nominee John McCain settled on 44-year-old Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his vice presidential choice only after aides reluctantly informed him that his first choice for running mate - teen star Miley Cyrus - was constitutionally ineligble for the job.
"He wanted a female and someone very, very, very young," a Republican strategist sighed. "I think he's courting the youth vote. And the women vote. Actually, I don't know what he's thinking these days. He gets easily tired, you know."
McCain was reportedly most concerned that Democratic nominee Barack Obama was ahead in polls in Montana and thought someone named after the state would help him win Montana's three electoral votes.
He was then informed that Hannah Montana is not the real name of the Disney actress.
Unable to lure the Hillary Clinton vote with a Cyrus selection - and after being told that is would be "awkward" to pick one of the stars from Sex And The City while Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman were "kind of big Barack fans" - McCain chose the completely unknown Palin.
"Well, she is young and she is a woman," a GOP advocate defended. "And she's pretty cute, for a Republican anyway."
Reaction to the Palin choice ranged from curious to perplexed.
"She seems like a nice lady who is kind of fun to listen to in short doses," an Obama adviser allowed. "Then again, I would say the same thing about Ellen DeGeneres and I wouldn't make her the VP for a 72-year-old president."
Asked what role Palin, or Cyrus for that matter, would have in a McCain Adminstration, the candidate tersely responded: "Are you serious? None, why?"
Reportedly, Palin's only directive on the campaign trail is that she check with Cindy McCain, who is also much younger and better looking than the nominee, to make sure they don't wear the same outfit on the same day.
"We probably wouldn't have had to worry that with Miley Cyrus," the GOP advocate noted. "I heard she is already not wearing all that many clothes these days."

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