JOHN McCAIN CHOOSES PEE WEE HERMAN AS SECRETARY OF STATE

In yet another surprise move, John McCain announced today that Paul Reubens, best known as Pee Wee Herman will be the Secretary of State in his administration.

Once again, Senator McCain has thrown out conventional wisdom by assembling his Cabinet prior to winning the election, or even formally accepting his party's nomination.

"I want the American people to know who will be working for them in Washington before they cast their ballots in November. In the coming weeks I will be announcing other members of my team." said McCain from Jackson, MS on Sunday.

Reubens was unavailable for comment since he has been dispatched to New Orleans to assist local officials who are preparing for Hurricane Gustav's possible landfall to reach the city. It is unclear exactly what role Reubens will have, but one city resident was overheard saying that "Pee Wee Herman could accomplish more than President Bush."

Other names have surfaced to serve in a future McCain administration, most notably, Al Margulies. When contacted at his home, Margulies denied any contact with the McCain camp.

THE THREE WORST VICE PRESIDENTIAL PICKS

SARAH PALIN

VP for John McCain (2008)











JOHN STOCKDALE

VP for H. Ross Perot (1992)







DAN QUAYLE

VP for George H. Bush (1988)

(It's still hard to believe that Bush won the election with this idiot)

















Please comment below and vote for your favorite worst Vice Presidential pick

WARD CLEAVER DERAILS EFFORT TO RENAME PLAZA AFTER SUNSET BOB

TriMet announced today that the Elizabeth Furse Plaza at the Sunset Transit Center will remain for now in order to further study the process and criteria necessary to rename any of the transit district's properties.

Several months ago a group of riders on the 76 line proposed naming the new WES station in Tualatin after Hugh Beaumont, best known as portraying the character "Ward Cleaver" on the Leave it to Beaver television series.

Many Tualatin residents have complained that TriMet repeatedly ignored their request and are miffed that renaming the plaza after Sunset Bob had taken a higher priority.

The man in the middle of this controversy, Sunset Bob, issued the following statement:

"I've been a big fan of Hugh Beaumont since I was a child watching the old Leave it to Beaver TV series. If anyone deserves recognition, it would be him. Mr. Beaumont also appeared in the Sci-Fi classic film "The Mole People" and was a guest star on many television shows like Petticoat Junction and Mannix. I hope there can be a way for TriMet to honor this great American."

AL MARGULIES TO SING NATIONAL ANTHEM AT REPUBLICAN CONVENTION

TriMet bus operator Al Margulies has revealed yet another hidden talent. He is scheduled to sing the national anthem at the 2008 Republican National Convention in St. Paul, MN on September 3.

Way to go Al!!

BUS STOP SIGN RECOVERED AND SAFELY RETURNED HOME

A alert employee at Far West Fibers noticed something odd when a customer brought in a TriMet bus stop sign and post for metal recycling on Monday. He remembered reading a story about a sign turning up missing from a Beaverton bus stop recently and he decided to contact authorities. It turned out that a man found the sign laying in the ditch where work crews apparently tossed it while replacing sidewalks along SW Scholls Ferry Rd. Thinking that it had been abandoned, he took it to collect cash as scrap metal.

“This is a rare moment when government rolled up it's sleeves, and quickly solved a problem.” said Beaverton Mayor-Elect Dennis Doyle. “ We created a special task force with the City of Beaverton, TriMet, and the Oregon Department of Transportation to resolve this matter. Since the original sign was recovered, we were able to get some workers to install the sign on Wednesday.”

Beaverton police are checking the man's story, but it is doubtful that any charges will be filed. Patrol officers are on high alert throughout the city to prevent any more signs from being taken.

WELCOME TO MY BLOG

Hi everybody, welcome to my new blog. I'm new at this sort of thing, but I hope to have some fun with it. And I hope you will too. So please come back soon and see what I've been up to. (And that's a very nice dress you're wearing Mrs.Cleaver.)

AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH

"I keep thinking we should include something in the Constitution in case the people elect a fucking moron"

Thank you Scott for passing this gem my way

JOHN HIVELY UNVEILS NEW BLOG

Fellow TriMet bus operator, published author, teacher, and a good friend of mine, John Hively has started his new blog:

theriggedgame.blogspot.com

Please check it out and buy his book: The Rigged Game available at Amazon.com and your favorite bookstore.

REMEMBER THIS GUY?

He plans on opening a driving school when his drivers license is reinstated

BARACK OBAMA SPEECH AT 2004 DNC CONVENTION

Who would guess that when Obama made this address at the 2004 Democratic Convention, it would later become his stump speech for his 2008 Presidential campaign.

MY BUDDY AND BLOGGING MENTOR, AL MARGULIES

I've never seen anything that was so appropriately named as Al Margulies' blog: "RANTINGS OF A TRIMETBUS DRIVER"

He inspired me to start my very own blog.

WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO??

Check it out: http://rantingsofatrimetbusdriver.blogspot.com

BIG CRACKDOWN AT SUNSET TRANSIT CENTER

TriMet has been issuing warnings to bicycles that are not parked in designated bicycle parking areas at the Sunset Transit Center. The grey bike was locked to the stairs at the parking garage. The owner of the yellow bike went to great lengths to stash his bicycle in the tall grass.

MOVEMENT HAS BEGUN TO RENAME PLAZA AFTER SUNSET BOB

While Sunset Bob is taking a well deserved vacation this week, many of his riders on the Cedar Mill Shuttle are pressuring TriMet to rename the Elizabeth Furse Plaza at the Sunset Transit Center in his honor.

No one can recall anything significant that Representative Furse accomplished during her short tenure in the House of Representatives. She did happen to represent Oregon's First District when the Westside MAX line opened in 1998 and perhaps TriMet felt obligated to honor her in some way. Others are galled that she is supporting Senator Gordon Smith in his reelection campaign.

In contrast, Sunset Bob has been the driving force in the success of the Cedar Mill Shuttle with the outstanding service he provides. Bob has also helped to renovate the driver's break room at the Sunset Transit Center. New furniture and artwork has been added to create a more relaxing atmosphere for TriMet's operators. Most recently, Sunset Bob has taken on the faulty ticket machines that plague the Transit Center.

Sunset Bob supporters are hoping that the renaming can be accomplished by September to coincide with the 10 year anniversary of the Transit Center. Bob is out of town this week and unavailable for comment.

BUS STOP SIGN TURNS UP MISSING ON 62 LINE

SIDEWALK CONSTRUCTION FOR WES COMMUTER TRAIN TO BLAME

South Beaverton residents are dismayed when they discovered the popular bus stop at SW Scholls Ferry Rd. and Cascade was missing its familiar white and blue TriMet sign this week.

Construction crews for the WES Commuter Train tore up the existing sidewalk and have begun repaving the walkways this week. As with most construction projects of this type, any existing bus stop signs are thrown to the wayside, ignoring the fact that passengers still rely on them to board buses required for their transportation needs.

Ironically, the contractors, Stacy and Witbeck have been hired by TriMet but apparently are not required to ease the inconvenience for bus passengers while work is in progress.

Some conspiracy theorists believe that the sign was moved to the Murray and Linda Ln. stop (see article dated August 12, 2008) but TriMet officials counter that the Scholls Ferry stop also serves lines 45 and 92 while the Murray Blvd. stop only serves line 62. When asked when the sign would return, TriMet could not give a specific date citing many external factors. The new sign has been outsourced to Colorado Railcar, who is late with delivery with the remaining rail cars for the WES project. Colorado Railcar officials say that the factory in China who is manufacturing the new sign has been forced to shut down during the Beijing Olympics to curb air pollution during the event. A delivery date is unknown at this time.

Meanwhile people who rely on this particular stop fear that it may be two years before TriMet can get a new sign erected. On Thursday August 21, 2008 at 8:30 PM a candlelight vigil is scheduled at Scholls Ferry and Cascade to highlight their concerns.

NEW BUS STOP SIGN (The Article That Started It All)

Neighborhood residents rejoiced on Monday with the early completion of the TriMet bus stop sign replacement project at northbound Murray Blvd. and Linda Ln. “Since the old sign has been missing for the past two years, church service attendance has suffered.” says Rev. Larry Falwell of the nearby Village Baptist Church. “ The temporary sign they put up had been there so long that the letters were totally faded and unreadable. Most parishioners and many bus drivers had no idea a bus stop was located there.”

Funding for this project was part of TriMet's new green line MAX expansion. When no one at the agency could figure out what a bus stop in Washington County had to do with the MAX line, TriMet officials decided to “fast track” the replacement and finish one full year ahead of the scheduled Fall 2009 target date.

Of course a project of this enormous scope involved some controversy. A comprehensive environmental impact statement was required. Many activists who are now opposing replacing the Interstate bridge were on board early insisting that a toll should be required to pay for the new sign. Their objections subsided when they were reminded that a fare is actually required to board a bus in that part of the city. A few rouge bus drivers were also grumbling, saying that they were turning in yellow cards regarding the missing sign and felt that TriMet was ignoring them. One driver thought that a road supervisor could have spent five minutes several months ago and put up a new temporary sign. If only life could really be that simple.

On a related note, TriMet also announced on Monday that a new division of the Transit Police has been established to battle theft of TriMet property. Since the transit agency has practically eradicated fare evasion and rowdy behavior on the system, manpower can be utilized for two goals: Prevention and recovery of stolen bus stop signs and to curb the alarming increase of bus operators taking rubber bands home with them.